Thinking Becomes Experience

The Full text as prepared for April 28, 2013

           How do you feel today?

Why do you feel that way?

Many people approach their lives as though the events of the day are going to dictate whether or not they’re going to feel good or bad about the day at any given moment.

There is a principle in Unity that gets a lot of “airtime.” It’s the third of the five principles that Unity holds as “basic”; our way of thinking creates the experience of our life. Whether we feel good or bad about the day – or anything foe that matter – is determined by our own personal state of mind.

Have you ever experimented with changing your thinking and observing how your experience changes?

Do you believe in the possibility that it may be true?

This idea that our way of thinking creates the experience of our life is something we deeply believe… as long as things are going well.

We may even speak these words when things aren’t going comfortably, but the real question is, “Do we believe it to be true… in all circumstances… and under all conditions? When we find ourselves in distress, are we willing to practice it?”

All too frequently when conditions don’t seem to be falling into place – according to our expectations – we suddenly drop our whole spiritual outlook, cycle back into negative emotions and then carry those negative emotions forward into a negative experience. I know, because I’ve done. I get into one of those, “You know what?? I’m upset and I don’t care!” kind of moods. That approach keeps us locked into discomfort. “I’m happy feeling crappy.” Happy? Really?

It’s been many years since we had lunch with our friends, Jim and Connie. Jim ordered Chicken salad and Jane ordered egg salad. When the waitress left our table, I think it was Jim that said, “Now we’re going to get an answer to that age old question… “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg!”

Despite the bad joke, I do have a “chicken or egg” kind of question, “Which comes first, our thoughts or our feelings?

Let me ask that a different way, “Do our thoughts tell us how to feel or do our feelings tell us what to think?”

Our way of thinking creates the experience of our life.

Winston Churchill said, “Attitude is a little thing that makes a BIG difference.”

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a BIG difference.” Winston Churchill.

It’s very important for us to realize that it’s up to us to initiate ourselves into a mindset that brings happiness, peace, joy, serenity, and feeling good.

Let me tell you how I used my own thinking to crate a new experience of my life. Once I had become aware there was a difference between my Reality and my personality, I made a conscious effort to think differently when I felt the sting of what I thought was criticism. I began to think differently when I’d catch myself counseling myself that I was a failure, or stupid, or unworthy, etc. I began to say to myself, about the destructive self-talk, “That’s not about me, that’s about my personality and I am not my personality.”

That’s not about the truth of me… my divinity… but about the limited way I express myself in the world… which can change. I began to transition my identity from being about my personality to the concept, and then the awareness, of my identity being something holy… divine… and then my self-talk and my personality improved simultaneously.

Less and less mental and emotional self-abuse, led to a healing of my thinking about myself.

There once was a man who grew an amazing amount of food in a 5’ x 5’ garden. He had virtually no weeds. He said for years he had lots of weeds and spent lots of time weeding. Then he decided to plant twice as many vegetables in the same amount of space. Pretty soon the root system took over and there was no room for weeds.

This formula works not only in horticulture but is also effective in keeping negative thinking weeded out of our minds. I invite you to keep the fertile garden of your mind planted with life-affirming thoughts; whole, holy healing thoughts until they take root and the weeds of negativity cannot grow.

Myrtle Fillmore, co-founder of Unity healed herself from an illness and her lifelong belief that she would always have that illness.

Do you know that there is biology to belief? Dr. Bruce Lipton demonstrates this in his book “The Biology of Belief.” In it he presents scientific evidence of the biological mechanics of our thinking.

Our way of thinking creates the physical, as well as the mental and emotional experience of our life. Mrs. Fillmore had the awareness and the experience, and Dr. Lipton showed the science behind it one hundred years later.

We live from the inside out; our thoughts manifest the experience in our life.

Understanding, really understanding, that our way of thinking creates the experience of our life is a light that will illumine and enliven our spiritual practice.

By the way, do you want to know what your spiritual practice is? It’s your daily life!

Knowing that our way of thinking creates the experience of our life will bring clarity to affirmative prayer; it will bring clarity to forgiveness; it will bring clarity to self-awareness; it will bring clarity to relationships with one another, it will bring clarity to our relationship with the world, it will bring clarity to our relationship with our health… and it will bring clarity to our awareness of the Presence of God.

This week, if you’re willing, trying up-leveling your thinking when you find yourself in negativity and see how your experience changes.

Love Follows Forgiveness II

                  

 The full text as prepared for the Sunday, April 21, 2013 message:

 

 After a busy week of national news events: bombings, Ricin laced letters, fertilizer plant explosion, car chases, gunfights, a major U.S. City on lock-down, and a manhunt it seems like ages since we were here last week and talked about forgiveness.

          Amidst the busy 24 hour-a-day reporting of death, and destruction, did your week include forgiveness?

          Did you get upset this past week? Did you get scared, angry, or frightened? Did you practice any forgiveness?

          Last week I said that Forgiveness is the key to happiness and during the week I was asked, “Are you saying that if I forgive the person who did the bombings I'm going to be all “smiley-faced” and happy about the people who died and the people who lost their limbs?”

          No, I was not saying that. I was saying that despite circumstances we can feel happiness.

          Perhaps the idea might be better assimilated this way: Forgiveness is the key to internal peace.

          The question is not "How guilty is that man," but "How do I stand in the sight of the Father as to my ideas about his guilt?

          Let's look at Romans 13:8, “Owe no one anything except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.”

          “Owe no man anything” is the council, and yet we sometimes feel that in order to forgive, someone owes us something... usually some sort of sniveling apology. But what happens if we go through life never getting the shameful admission of guilt from another that we “Oh, so, deserve?” Would this be our legacy?

                  

          Last week I spoke about carrying around potatoes and mentioned that if we hang unto them long enough they get slimy and smelly.  Each of these unmet demands for apologies (or punishment) blocks the awareness of our inner peace with something rotten.

          Where might Paul have gotten this crazy, wild, radical idea that we should love one another?  Perhaps from the words of Jesus found in John 13:34-35, “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. As I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

          “Your thoughts should at all times be worthy of your highest self, your fellow man, and God. The thoughts that most frequently work ill to you and your associates are thoughts of criticism and condemnation. Fill your mind with thoughts of divine love, justice, peace, and forgiveness. This will pay your debts of love, which are the only debts you really owe.” (Prosperity/123)

          Our thoughts should at all times be worthy of our highest self, our fellow man, and God. But what about when it hurts? What about when we are so consumed with fear, anger, guilt, etc.?

          When our thoughts bring us hurt; forgive.

          When our thoughts bring us fear; forgive.

          When our thoughts bring us guilt, anger, shame, etc.; forgive.

          When you are looking for inner peace for any reason; forgive.

          In the world, forgiveness does not absolve another of responsibility for their actions. In the world we compare and contrast a person’s action against the laws of man and assess a punishment as payment for a person’s transgression.  But I’m not speaking of worldly things; I'm speaking of spiritual things, and spiritual things bring us a lasting peace.

          How forgiveness works, and “Why should I forgive?” is a mystery to many.

          Here is a beginning way to understand how forgiveness works: forgiveness removes the “painful emotional charge” from the event and allows us to experience the memory of the event without the pain.

          Example: Here I have a piece of electrical wire. If this wire were connected to the power grid and I asked you to grasp it?  What would you say, and why? (No, because the electrical current running through it will kill me)

          Now what if I just handed you this short length of wire, disconnected from any power source, and asked you to grasp it, would you do it, and why? (Yes, because the wire is not connected to a power generator.)

          Turn off what generates the charge and the line becomes safe; it no longer holds the power to harm you.  It's still a line – just no charge.

          When you forgive, you still have the event but it no longer carries the power to harm you emotionally because forgiveness turns off that harmful power. (And remember that holding onto negative emotions is ultimately damaging physically.)

          We all share a common purpose beyond our goals and aspirations in the world: to reclaim our rightful inheritance as Children of God, and return “Home;” return to the awareness of Heaven. We would do well to keep our eyes on that prize while we go about our business in the world.

          The purpose of my position as a minister is to help you (and remind myself) to, “...train the mind to keep it's eyes on the prize, remembering our daily purpose of healing relationships, from the moment our eyes open in the morning to the time we go to sleep, and them through the night until our eyes reopen to greet the new day.” (Ken Wapnick, The Lighthouse Newsletter, vol 24, number 1)

          Somewhere along the way we consciously chose to embark on a spiritual path. Why? Because something someone said, or something we read ignited in us “the attraction of Love for Love” (ibid.)

           Do you value anything more than inner peace?

          Apparently we do because we to allow the thief called judgment, fear, hate, criticism, anger, jealousy, self-righteousness, inferiority, superiority, etc. to break into our hearts and minds and steal our peace!

          What is it that catches the “thief” and “returns” our peace to us? Forgiveness.

          Whether we are stirred up in a big way, stirred up over big events like we've had this week, or we are mildly annoyed, the thief has broken in and stolen our peace!

          “...when you look in on the thief that has broken into [your heart and mind] and say, “I forgive you,” you are... decreeing that [your inner peace] can [never really] be taken from you at any time... and you are healing yourself.” (The Way of Mastery/page 33)

          Love is the great healer and harmonizer and where forgiveness goes, Love follows.

Love Follows Forgiveness

 The full text as prepared for the Sunday, April 14, 2013 message:

Last week I said, in a manner of speaking, that I thought everyone wants to know God more deeply than ever before.  I gave you an exercise to help you to see beyond the appearance of people and to affirm your connection in divinity with the other; “I am another one of you. Together, in Love, we are One.”

Look around this room as you sit here this hour, look around Fellowship Hall after service and ask yourself if you think your interests are really separate from everyone else’s.  Beyond all the goals and aspirations any one of us might have in the world, do you think your deepest interests are really separate, unique and individual?  I don’t.

Once we realize we all share the same interest… to love God deeply… to return to the awareness of the presence of God… once we realize that our interests are not separate… how could we hate, judge, and justify our anger?

The inseparable partner of hate, judgment, anger and so on… is distress. When you are in distress, you know that you are carrying a heavy block to the experience of love’s presence.  And the way to dissolve those blocks is through forgiveness.

Forgiveness dissolves the blocks and then the awareness of the presence of Love is remembered (re-experienced) because love flows into the area of awareness that had been blocked off, lightening our load and bringing us love’s healing relief.

“A teacher once told each of her adult-ed students to bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to school. For every person they refuse to forgive in their life's experience, they chose a potato, wrote on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag. Some of their bags were quite heavy.

They were then told to carry this bag with them everywhere for one week, putting it beside their bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to their desk at work.

The hassle of lugging this around with them made it clear what a weight they were carrying spiritually, and how they had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget and keep leaving it in embarrassing places. Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty smelly slime. This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for holding onto our pain and heavy negativity!

“Forgiveness is not for other people, it is for ourselves so we can get well and heal.” (Max Lucado)

What is forgiveness, why should we forgive, and how do we do it?

CF (CO-F of U) defines forgiveness as, (SLIDE) “A process of giving up the false for the true.” 

Forgiveness is the giving up of critical judgment in favor of that which is eternal… the Presence of God (AKA Love)… looking beyond the stories we project unto other people, and thus see, sense, or sense the possibility of their divinity.  And if we can’t do that (sense their divinity) then look beyond the stories we project onto other people and recognize that they share the same interest we do: to release the barriers to the awareness of Love’s Presence.  And in doing that we’re releasing those barriers in ourselves!

Why should we forgive?  Let’s go to Mr. Fillmore again, (SLIDE) “It is through forgiveness that true spiritual healing is accomplished. Forgiveness removes the errors of the mind and… harmony results in consonance with divine law.”

Forgiveness removes the errors of the mind; harmony results in consonance (agreement) with divine law; and true spiritual healing is accomplished.

It sounds like forgiveness is the key that opens the “Gates of Heaven.”

Forgiveness is not inherent in the mind, forgiveness is acquired.  Why is this?  Because in order for it to be inherent in the mind, (and I’m talking about our right mind… the portion of the mind that is in resonance with Divine Law even if we don’t recognize it…) in order for forgiveness to be inherent in the mind it must be eternal and it is not.  Forgiveness does not exist in Heaven because criticism (judgment) does not exist in Heaven.  This is, in my opinion, why Jesus says in Mark 2:10 that the son of man has the authority on earth to forgive sin.  The idea of sin exists on earth; not in Heaven.

Forgiveness did not come as “standard equipment” at our creation and, thus, must be learned. Criticism is learned from our ego and forgiveness is learned from the Holy Spirit.

Forgiveness erases criticism… and where criticism does not exist, love flows.  Love follows forgiveness.

The preacher's Sunday sermon was Forgive Your Enemies. Toward the end of the service, He asked his congregation, "how many of you have forgiven their enemies"?

About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 percent held up their hands. He then repeated his question again. All responded, except one small elderly lady.
       "Mrs. Jones?" inquired the preacher, Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?
       "I don't have any." she replied. smiling sweetly.
       "Mrs. Jones, That is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-three," she replied.
       "Oh Mrs. Jones, what a blessing and a lesson to us all you are. Would you please come down in front of this congregation and tell us all how a person can live ninety-three years and not have an enemy in the world."
       The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said "I outlived the old bags."

Since we may not out live all our enemies as Mrs. Jones did :o) How do we forgive?

Here’s one forgiveness process. It’s in the form of a meditation and it comes directly from Lesson 121 in A Course in Miracles; Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness.

In this meditation we will be practicing forgiveness toward someone whom you think of as an enemy… and one whom you think of as a friend.  As you learn to see them both as one, we will extend the lesson to yourself, and see that their escape from your bondage included yours as well.

Begin this meditation by thinking of a friend; someone you love, and trust, and enjoy.

Think, too, of someone you do not like.  Someone who seems to irritate you, or to cause regret in you if you should meet him or her… someone you actively despise… or merely try to overlook.  Whether your grievance is “big” or “small” is irrelevant.  Slight irritation or intense rage are the same. It does not matter what form your anger takes as there is no hierarchy in the illusion you hold.  You probably have chosen him or her already. He, or she, will do.

Now close your eyes and see him in your mind and look at him a while.  Try to perceive some light in him somewhere; a little gleam which you had never noticed.  Try to find some little spark of brightness shining through the ugly picture that you hold of him.

This is not an exercise in New Age affirmations where we see the light in everyone. First we must see “the ugly picture,” before we can see the light shining beyond it.  First get in touch with the ugly picture, for only then can you realize that perceiving the ugliness in others is a barrier you have chosen to conceal the light of truth that is in your mind as well as in others.

Look at this picture you hold in your mind until you see a light somewhere within it, and then try to let this light extend until it covers him, and makes the picture beautiful, and good. (pause about 10 seconds)

Look at the changed perception for a while and turn your mind to the one you call friend.  Try to extend the light you learned to see around your former “enemy” to your friend. 

Then let him extend the light you see in him and let your “enemy” and your friend unite in blessing you with what you gave.  Now you are one with them, and they with you.  Now you have been forgiven by yourself.

Feel how wonderful that feels.

Now I’m going to ask you to bring your awareness back to the time and space in which you find your body.  There is no need to hurry.  As you breathe in deeply, and out again… as your hands and feet begin to move you begin to become more aware of the sanctuary.  Your eyes are starting to open and maybe you’re stretching as you become fully alert, energized, happy and feeling love.

Forgiveness is the key to happiness… and love follows forgiveness.

If you’re willing, take time out of four or five days during the next week and practice this forgiveness meditation:

·        Identify someone you think of as a friend and someone you think of as an enemy

·        Look for some little ray of light in or around the one you think of as an enemy

·        Then try to let this light extend until it covers the friend. Transfer the light to your friend.

·        Next let the friend offer you the light you see in him.  In doing so your friend you’re your “enemy” are blessing you with what you gave.

·        You are one with them and they with you and you have forgiven yourself.

Forgiveness is the key to happiness.

(Click here to return to The Monday Message)

The Leader of the Pack

The full text as prepared for the Sunday, April 7, 2013 message:

I don’t think everyone is aware so I’ll tell you now that Jane’s and my little family of three is now four. Three weeks ago yesterday we adopted a young dog from the animal shelter in New Castle. Her name is Libby and here are some pictures of her.

Currently, Libby is barking more than we’d like, not to mention she does not yet realize her bathroom is outside! She does what she wants, when she wants to, more often that doing what we want her to do.

Libby is "The Leader of the Pack!"

We knew when we adopted her that she would need some “behavior rehabilitation.” :o) so I turned to Cesar Millan, “The Dog Whisperer.”

 In his book, Be The Pack Leader, he shares rehabilitation (he doesn’t like the concept of training) ideas that I quickly recognized have application to our spiritual journey.

The first thing that caught my eyes was this, “In a dog’s world you are either a leader or a follower.” I would say that when it comes to our personal lives we are either a follower or a follower. No, I didn’t say that wrong, we are either a follower or a follower.  I’ll explain than a little later.

Millan also writes, “In America especially, the kind of lifestyle people lead here is a very intellectual one. We communicate with one another almost exclusively through language. We send worded message on the internet and on cell phones. We read, we watch television, we have lots of education and more information at our fingertips than ever before which allows some of us to live almost 100% in our minds. We agonize about the past and fantasize about the future. All too often we become so dependent upon our intellectual sides that we forget there is much, much more to this amazing world we live in.”

I think it’s important to recognize that the intellect is not wise.  Wisdom is not the function of the intellect. Wisdom is not contained in the intellect. The function of the intellect is to carry out instructions.

Healthy intellect follows the letter of the law that it’s been given. Misguided intellect argues back and forth, endeavoring to prove it is the highest authority… something more than the “carry-outer” of instructions. Misguided intellect wants to ascend to the seat of authority, usurp God, and be the pack leader… which it is not.  We must demand of our intellect – during the inner argument for authority – to surrender to wisdom.  Wisdom in the commanding officer and intellect is the soldier that carries out the orders (even when intellect thinks the commanding officer is an idjit). :o)

We need to be careful about where those orders come from.

I contend there are only two voices from which our counsel comes: The voice for Love and the voice for not Love.

The voice for Love we might also call God, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit “speaking” to us.

The voice for not Love is the voice that advocates everything but Love. We could call this voice ego, or devil, or Satan.

There is a moment when we can call ourselves “Pack Leader,” but that is temporary.

The voice for Love will always only tell us one thing, that we are love.

The voice for not love will always tell us we are limited, that we are not good enough or smart enough, of strong enough, or capable.  It’ll also council us to accept fear, guilt, shame, hate, anger, jealousy, hopelessness, etc.

The Pack Leader sets the tone for the pack. The Pack Leader determines what is acceptable and what isn’t. This is where you get to be the pack leader; you establish that the pack of lies the ego is always foisting on us are not true.

When those thoughts and feelings arise, be the pack leader and deny their truth. Do not let them take control of your thoughts. The Pack Leader requires the pack to stay behind him and follow him.  Tell those lies, “Get thee behind me…” (MT 16:23)

Once you’ve established your dominion over negativity you surrender to the voice for Love, God, your Pack Leader.

I said we were either a follower or a follower. We either follow the council of the ego or the council of God.

Jesus was not a leader, he was the quintessential follower.

John 10:30, “I and the Father are one.”

“Not my will but your will be done” LK 22:42 Jesus was a follower.

(Show two pictures of Marley – one cute and one of his destruction)

Cesar Millan says that in the book “Marley and Me” the Grogan family achieved trust, love, and loyalty with Marley, but not respect. Marley was never trained to respect his humans, 

so Marley took the role as pack leader, doing what he pleased when he pleased, establishing command.

Respect is necessary to have a healthy “inner” relationship.

What about you and your inner life? Is your self-talk respectful, or is it limiting you and doing what it pleases with you? Are you willing to take the lead, be the leader, and communicate back to your self-talk of limitation and suspect self-worth that, you are a child of God and therefore you are unlimited and that your true nature is the pack leader (with respect to negative, limiting self-talk)?

Teachers must establish respect in the classroom in order to teach students effectively.

Military commanders must establish respect in their soldiers in order to lead effectively.

Parents must establish respect in the home in order to teach children effectively.  All these relationships must have a respect for the leader.

We feel safe, and calm, and stable when we have respect for our “pack leader.” Your pack Leader is God. Do you have respect for the Voice for Love within you?

“By giving a dog rules, boundaries, and limitations you don’t kill his spirit, you just give him the structure he needs in his life in order to find peace and allow his true dog-self to emerge.” (Cesar Millan)

By establishing boundaries for ourselves; denying the truth of negative self-talk and affirming what is true about us and others we can find peace and allow our true spiritual-self to emerge.

But we have a problem with boundaries; we tolerate for too much mind wandering that takes us outside of healthy boundaries.

One of the interesting things Millan says is that the Grogan’s addressed Marley as a name and a personality rather than addressing, “the animal in him.”

I think he is saying here that through their ignorance, they didn’t respect the nature of Marley.

Because they saw him as a name and a personality communication on that level doesn’t work.  I think we do that too, we don’t respect the nature in us – our Being – and thus our intra-personal communication is misdirected and inefficient.

“Remember this key concept when you are trying to interact with your dog; you must train your mind to relate to him in this order; First – animal; second – species; third - breed; fourth – name.” (Cesar Millan)

Then he said this wonderful thing, “First it is important to address the animal in your dog because that is what you have in common with him; you are both animals…” 

That idea right there is transformational if we can see it in a spiritual way. First we relate to what we have in common, our spirituality, then as humans, then, perhaps, regional/societal difference, gender, and lastly as personality.

This week, if you’re willing, I invite you to speak this phrase to yourself to connect at the level of your true nature – spirit - as you encounter other people: “___Name___, I am another one of you. Together, in Love, we are One.”

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